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Tips for getting through it

People who have had sexual things done to them that they didn’t freely agree to can feel pretty bad for a very long time. While there is no magic wand that can fix it, life can get better.

Millions of survivors have found healing and happiness again. If you have survived or are experiencing sexual violenceSexual Violence
Is a general term that covers any sexual stuff a person does not consent to.
, you’re not alone. There are people who want to help you.

(You can also read this page as a PDF).

Take your time

People heal from sexual violenceSexual Violence
Is a general term that covers any sexual stuff a person does not consent to.
in different ways and at different speeds. For some people sometimes it is about getting through one day at a time. Lots of survivors say that counselling or therapy were things that helped the most long-term.

Sometimes if you’re feeling really upset it can be like “urgh, nothing will help!” But know that there are always things you can do to change how you are feeling.

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Do stuff you like

One idea is when you’re feeling ok write a list of things you know help make you feel good . Look at this list when you’re feeling rough. Make a commitment to do at least one thing on the list when you are feeling low.

These are some things that may be helpful to do.

Get Support:
  •  Hang out with friends and family
  • Join a support group
  • Ring a support line
  • Talk to someone you trust
  • Hang out at a youth/community/sports/church centre
  • Get together with your friends and come up with ideas of things you can do when you’re not feeling great
  • Talk to your friends and whanau about what support you find helpful when you aren’t feeling good
  • Write a plan for getting the support you need - do some research, find out what other people have done or ask them for ideas of what they might do

Get Active:

  • Surf
  • Swim
  • Hike
  • Go climbing
  • Volunteer for a cause that you care about
  • Dance
  • Learn martial arts
  • Go for a walk somewhere that reminds you of good times
  • Teach someone else a skill or something that you’re good at
  • Make up a dance
  • Run
  • Punch a boxing bag, or a pillow
  • Work out at the gym
  • Play paintball
  • Do some gardening
  • Pick some flowers
  • Try a new exercise class
  • Take a dog for a walk

Chill Out:

  •  Read a book
  • Lie on the beach
  • Cook something you love eating
  • Fix something
  • Redecorate your room
  • Read a book or watch a movie that makes you laugh
  • Read a book or watch a movie that makes you feel hopeful
  • Soak in the bath
  • Play computer games
  • Look at art or pictures that make you feel good
  • Lie outside at night and look at the stars
  • Cook dinner for people you care about
  • Go and watch your favourite sport live
  • Have a BBQ
  • Watch a movie with friends

Get Creative:

  •  Play music
  • Make presents for people you care about
  • Write - music, poems, raps...
  • Paint
  • Draw
  • Sing
  • Build something
  • Redecorate
  • Design things you’re interested in

Have Fun:

  • Go shopping
  • Go to a concert
  • Go to the movies
  • Hang out with people who make you laugh
  • Go on a fun mission somewhere
  • Discover a part of town you’ve never been to
  • Go on a road trip with friends
  • Spend the day out with your mates

All these things can help, if only for a while. But hey, that’s better than feeling down all the time.

Keep your list and remember to pull it out and look at it whenever you need something to make you feel better.

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Come on in to the Sex’N’Respect website!

Just a heads up, this website has some stuff about sexual violence which might be upsetting,
especially if you or someone close to you has experienced it.

If you find yourself getting upset, make sure you get support or take a few deep breaths
and think about something that makes you smile.

Some of the topics in here may also conflict with your beliefs.
We think that if a person is harming someone, or their human rights
IT IS NOT OK - no matter what your beliefs are.

Sweet As